Now Hiring?!

Some of you may think that being unemployed means that I have little to do in a never ending amount of time, and the truth is, when I was newly unemployed I thought this too. After all, how bad could it be to not have to get up at 7 A.M., and watch your favorite shows when they actually air? The first week was nice, sleeping in, catching up on all the T.V. I was too busy to watch during the semester all while basking in the glow of my recent graduation, but the novelty wore off pretty quickly. What was once luxurious and enviable soon became boring and pathetic; thus began Job Hunt 2010. (Note: Even if my search extends into 2011, it will still only be called Job Hunt 2010 because anything indicating a longer time frame would be too depressing.)

Now my days are spent making lists. Making lists of people I know and people I want to know. Making lists of production companies and job websites. And so on and so on. Somewhere in my furry of list making and cover letter writing, it dawned on me that I could use an assistant. Now bear with me here, I know it sounds ridiculous for an unemployed person to employ an assistant, but despite my work situation (or lack there of) I actually have a lot to balance and manage. Making sure you send the right cover letter to the right company is harder than you may think after you’ve sent out a few dozen and can no longer remember exactly what you’ve applied for in the first place. Trust me.

Don’t even get me started on the fact that in the throws of my unemployment I can’t even find the time to get my haircut. I keep waiting for the perfect day where I know I’ll need a break and a chance to get out of the house, but preferably on a day when New York City doesn’t feel like its’ in walking distance from the surface of the sun and a torrential downpour won’t be looming over my newly quaffed head. If you could see my hair right now, you’d know I’ve had little luck with this plan.

The way I see it, there are two significant benefits to my hiring an assistant.

1. I would be more balanced and less crazed, and if I was channeling my inner diva I could even ask the poor guy or gal to hold an umbrella over my head so I can get that haircut I so desperately need.

2. If I employ an assistant, that means I would be rescuing someone from the boredom and monotony that I know so well. This really isn’t as beneficial to me as it would be to someone else, but I’m willing to overlook that.

The only real (and some may say significant) downfall to hiring an assistant is the fact that I have very limited funds with which to pay him or her. And these funds are only shrinking since they have no way of replenishing themselves aside from employment or a winning lotto ticket. At this point, I’d say it’s a tossup as to which one of these scenarios occurs first. Bets are welcome.