Don’t get me wrong, I think the “Real Housewives” franchise is ridiculous, but I also kick myself if I miss an episode of the New York or New Jersey editions. As I watched the tail end of New York’s season, I must admit that I was a little dumbfounded. How any of these women (maybe with the exception of Bethenny) now have “careers” as television personalities is mind-boggling. Let’s take a look at the craziest bunch of housewives one by one, shall we?
Ramona is an emotional roller-coaster whose grasp of the English language deteriorates in proportion with the amount of wine she’s consumed. (Mountain out of a hole mill, anyone?)
Sonja is new so I don’t have much to say about her other then the fact that I loved when Kelly and Ramona were having it out on that yacht and all Sonja kept saying was that she wanted to see Hooters girls. She seems to know just how to lighten the mood, which has become increasingly necessary among these ridiculous women.
Jill is so concerned with how she’s perceived; that she seems to have lost sight of the fact that no one really cares about her, at least not anymore.
Alex clearly needs to spend more time parenting her children and less time trying to find herself (or her arm or any other limb) in the NYT Style section, because her son’s “systematic bullying” of that hamburger at the end of last season was just uncalled for, even if he can sing twinkle, twinkle little star in Latin.
Even though Bethenny’s biting insults could sometimes make Don Rickles cringe, she’s funny and she seems to be the only Housewife that can dish it and take it. It also helps that she has a career.
Luann needs to drop this Countess business and focus full-time on her budding singing career. The lyrics to Elegance is Learned are reminiscent only of the great Bob Dylan, and I’ll be dammed if she lets that talent go to waste.
And then there’s Kelly. I sincerely don’t know how that woman functions seeing as coherent thoughts are clearly beyond the realm of possibility for her. You know it’s pretty bad when your 10-year old daughter has to teach you how to make a pancake. Even my own culinary ability extends to that point.
The point of this post though wasn’t really to analyze the Housewives, although that has been fun. As much as I love watching their catty drama, I’ve realized that it’s a bit of a slap in the face to those who are really earning a living. And those of us who are trying to (wink, wink.)
That said, if they’re looking for a new Housewife, I’m all ears. Despite the fact that I don’t have a spouse or a house. Hmm. I should really just cross “cast member of Real Housewives of New York” off my list of prospective jobs…
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I really enjoyed reading this. I would love to get your take on The housewives of new jersey.
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